11/07/2008
A night of comfort and longing. A night of longing for comfort. The air was cool and warmth was
found. Two people, one resting her head on his chest. He rests his head on hers, savoring the scent of
her, the warmth of her body, the grip of her hand in his. The moment stood still, stretching seconds to
minutes to hours to days. The world collapses into a microcosm where the two are the sole occupants.
A moment of comfort and longing. A night of happiness bound to end. Memories made to last but
exist solely as memories....words were meant but never said. Eyes told tales that hands of soft touch
would translate. Memories made of air and touch and words eyes spoke and smiles and hair and
warmth and unkissed kisses that longed for much much more than ever could be given. Thank you for
the memories...and Good night.
11/09/2008
Intervention. The catch phrase of the day. Days. There's truth in what they said. I don't deny that. I
recognize my ....situation but I knowingly, willfully CHOOSE to be there. One friend comment my
situation to being akin to OCD. An irrational need the merits fulfillment causing anxiety whether
completed or not. Another, who's opinion seemed more sage, unbiased and informed likened my
situation to skydiving. At some point, you either jump or you sit your ass back down and go home. He
more or less stated that I've stood in the doorway for years and with the prospect of pushing thirty, a
decision MUST be made. Intervention. Where loved ones and those who love you share their earnest
opinions trying to reflect what you SHOULD see for yourself in their own words. Words sway.
Sentiment appreciated. Unfortunately for all involved, I believe my current decision and course of
action is to take no action. Not yet.
11/10/2008
Truth. The truth of the day is that i have been deemed ineffectual. My efforts to resolve the issues my
parents' tv experienced were all for nothing. After ALL THAT TIME spent analyzing and investigating,
and contacting people and blah blah blah, my work solved nothing. The solution was explained to be
far more damaging and the truth lay over me like a storm with lightning realizations of a pointless
period of time.
11/11/2008
Weather one storm only to find others waiting in the wings......
11/12/2008
I wish i could forget who I am and just BE who I am. All too often, i find over-analysis stalls my
forward motion. Its what I do. I analyze a situation (whether correctly or not) from angles that may or
may not have been even relevant. Its how my brain works. I often want so bad to understand how/why
something works that I forget to simply revel in the fact that it does. I've spent so much time in front
of the mirror, not for vanity's sake but rather self-reflection that now all I can see are the flaws that
others may not have even noticed. I never make it out the door because the analysis has begun. I wish i
knew how to forget who I am and just BE.
11/17/2008
The falling of ASH. The end of the world. A whisper of softness and insomnia find me again. May
dreams of answers fill time
A night of comfort and longing. A night of longing for comfort. The air was cool and warmth was
found. Two people, one resting her head on his chest. He rests his head on hers, savoring the scent of
her, the warmth of her body, the grip of her hand in his. The moment stood still, stretching seconds to
minutes to hours to days. The world collapses into a microcosm where the two are the sole occupants.
A moment of comfort and longing. A night of happiness bound to end. Memories made to last but
exist solely as memories....words were meant but never said. Eyes told tales that hands of soft touch
would translate. Memories made of air and touch and words eyes spoke and smiles and hair and
warmth and unkissed kisses that longed for much much more than ever could be given. Thank you for
the memories...and Good night.
11/09/2008
Intervention. The catch phrase of the day. Days. There's truth in what they said. I don't deny that. I
recognize my ....situation but I knowingly, willfully CHOOSE to be there. One friend comment my
situation to being akin to OCD. An irrational need the merits fulfillment causing anxiety whether
completed or not. Another, who's opinion seemed more sage, unbiased and informed likened my
situation to skydiving. At some point, you either jump or you sit your ass back down and go home. He
more or less stated that I've stood in the doorway for years and with the prospect of pushing thirty, a
decision MUST be made. Intervention. Where loved ones and those who love you share their earnest
opinions trying to reflect what you SHOULD see for yourself in their own words. Words sway.
Sentiment appreciated. Unfortunately for all involved, I believe my current decision and course of
action is to take no action. Not yet.
11/10/2008
Truth. The truth of the day is that i have been deemed ineffectual. My efforts to resolve the issues my
parents' tv experienced were all for nothing. After ALL THAT TIME spent analyzing and investigating,
and contacting people and blah blah blah, my work solved nothing. The solution was explained to be
far more damaging and the truth lay over me like a storm with lightning realizations of a pointless
period of time.
11/11/2008
Weather one storm only to find others waiting in the wings......
11/12/2008
I wish i could forget who I am and just BE who I am. All too often, i find over-analysis stalls my
forward motion. Its what I do. I analyze a situation (whether correctly or not) from angles that may or
may not have been even relevant. Its how my brain works. I often want so bad to understand how/why
something works that I forget to simply revel in the fact that it does. I've spent so much time in front
of the mirror, not for vanity's sake but rather self-reflection that now all I can see are the flaws that
others may not have even noticed. I never make it out the door because the analysis has begun. I wish i
knew how to forget who I am and just BE.
11/17/2008
The falling of ASH. The end of the world. A whisper of softness and insomnia find me again. May
dreams of answers fill time
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